everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
