Define "chronic" masturbator.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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