I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
