Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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