Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Randomize
