is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
