just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
FUCK WHALES
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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