Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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