she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
