Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So much Jack, so little girl.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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