What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize