Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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