There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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