wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
