at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
