my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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