Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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