I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
