I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
