This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
