i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize