i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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