i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize
