Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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