Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
