I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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