We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
