My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize