i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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