so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
