She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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