I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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