i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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