We're like a lot better than the average bears
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
