I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Rumble strips road head = magical
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize