it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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