Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
