i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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