he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
