hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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