Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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