it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think weed is turning my hair brown
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
