so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she looked like the before picture.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
