JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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