theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize