so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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