Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I am one with the molecules
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
