so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
