Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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