Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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