I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
