White coat. Heels.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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