He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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