Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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