I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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