the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
