Your dad touched me again.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
