Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
