Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
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How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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